Wednesday, October 20, 2010

A Love-Hate Relationship....

Last night I was reminded of how deeply I both DESPISE and appreciate cystic fibrosis. I'm sure to most people that sounds completely insane, but I AM thankful for what CF has given my family. It's hard to put into pictures may do better justice.

Why I hate CF.....medication after medication, but they only treat the SYMPTOMS. They don't fix the problem.

Why I hate CF.....I can't look at newborn pictures of Rylan without crying. Those 1st two weeks of her life we thought she was 100 percent healthy. We had no idea what life had in store for our little family of 4.

Why I hate CF.....having to explain to a then 3-yr old why his tiny baby sister has to have all of these tests done.

Why I hate CF.....having to take antibiotics that haven't even been approved for children under 6 yrs old....when you're 5 months old.

Why I hate CF.....your sense of 'normal' is something most people will never have to experience for even one day of their life.

And the list goes on and on....but what I'm finding is, as time marches on, that 'other' list is growing even longer. And one day, THAT list, the list of reasons why I'm THANKFUL for CF will be the longer of the two.

CF has given Kohen a chance to be a REAL superhero

CF has made our hugs a little tighter.....

.....and our kisses a little sweeter.

CF is teaching my kids companionship.....

.....and compassion.

It has given me a 'CF family'.....

.....who understand the importance of a superhero cape.

In the words of a great CF mom, "So many people's trials and struggles in this world are over the pettiest of circumstances, they can't see huge blessings when they're staring them right in the eyes......we warrior moms can. cus we know breathing isn't always a priviledge, sometimes its a right, that we have to fight hard for." She is so incredibly right. There are so many reasons to be pissed off at life...but then I look at that little girl. How can I waste ONE single moment on pettiness?? How can I get angry or upset at ANYthing when God placed that little angel in MY arms? Everything about that little girl is a blessing. Every. Singe. Little. Thing. And that includes CF.

1 comment:

  1. Just ran into this blog for the first time. Thanks for sharing. Your children are beautiful and you've given me hope for the future. I just started chest pt and neb treatments with my daughter on a daily basis because of hypotonia, not cf (she's unable to cough up secretions). Like you said, how can you get upset when that angel is in your arms? God is good.