Friday, October 7, 2011

Everything I know, I learned in Kindergarten....

Last night, Kohen....age 6, mind you....and I had a rather interesting conversation. He was sitting at the kitchen table doing his homework (you know, the really hard kindergarten kind of homework), when he looked up and said, "Mom, I know what CHX spells."

I, of course, thought he was just trying to make up some random word to stir up a conversation with me to get him out of doing his homework (you know, because Mom is like the meanest thing on the planet when she tells you to do your homework right when you get off the bus, because that would like free up the entire rest of the evening to climb trees with your buddy across the street). I responded with a "Sorry, buddy. CHX doesn't spell anything."

"Oh YES it does, Mom."

"Okay, buddy. What does CHX spell."

"I don't think you want me to say it, Mom."

"Kohen, I give you permission to say whatever it is....just this one time." (Still thinking this is a ploy, which is obviously working because now the sight word list he was reading out loud is conveniently being shoved back into the folder in his backpack.)

(Lowering his voice) " Mom, it spells SEX!"

(Ok, kid. You now have my complete attention.)

"Sex?! Who taught you that word, Kohen? Where did you hear that?"

"At school."

(Trying to decide whether to laugh or cry and thinking to myself, he's in kindergarten. Do they have recess with the eighth graders??) "Ok, buddy. Do you know what that word means?"


(Phew. Dodged THAT bullet) "Oh, it's really nothing. Nothing you need to know about now anyway. Someday we can talk about it, but now probably isn't the time." (Oh, thank you Lord. The next time THIS conversation happens, Daddy better be home.)

Kohen starts laughing. A very mischievious laugh. A laugh where I'm thinking to myself, this kid is about to learn what the words "Oh shit" mean here in a minute.

"Mom. I really know what the word sex means."

(Oh shit.)

"Kohen, what does it mean?" (OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT)

"It means someone is HOT, HOT, HOT!"

I think at this point I was sweating so profusely it wouldn't have mattered what his answer was. All I could do was smile and turn my back to him (so he couldn't see me look up to the heavens and thank God one more time).

"Yep, buddy. CHX means hot. Hot, hot, hot."

"Oh, and Mom.....I know the tooth fairy is really you and Dad."



  1. Ugh, I haven't had to dodge this bullet with my son yet. This made me laugh!