My Not-So-Little, Little Boy.....

I am amazed that THIS is how my now 5 year old, 56.4 POUND 'little' boy, 1st came into this world. He came 8 weeks early and weighed a whopping 4.1 lbs....he was 18.5 inches long and looked like such a wrinkley old man :) But his Daddy and I thought he was the most beautiful, sweet, angellic little being we had ever laid eyes on. He was immediately whisked away to the NICU and stayed there for 46 days. I came home to shower every few days, but beyond those few hours at home, I never left his side. Daddy had to eventually go back to work, but his mind was never 'fully' there. He would bring his laptop to the hospital and work from there as much as he possibly could. The two of us slept on a little cot that was made for someone more like Chewy on Chelsea Lately.....but we were petrified to leave him.



I remember the day we finally brought him home and how quiet the house seemed. We were so used to the hub bub of the NICU and all the heart monitors and O2 machines beeping, when it was finally just the 3 of us (plus the 4 legged furry older brother) it just all seemed so surreal. Barry and I took turns watching him sleep in the bassinet just to be sure he was still breathing.....

Fast forward to today.....I had to take Kohen to the pediatrician the other day (it felt so strange to make the appointment for HIM, instead of his sister!) and when he jumped up on the scale and I saw the 56.4 lbs come across the screen I about lost it. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN???? When did he get to be so big??? He was literally just 46 lbs, I am SURE of it. Wasn't that just last month?? No, maybe it was at the beginning of summer??? I can't remember. But all I know is he is now a boy. He is 5. Granted he has been for awhile, but it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I looked at his hands and almost cried. He doesn't let me hold them anymore of course, so I hadn't noticed how big they really are.....

I wish I could remember the last day I bounced him to sleep in his nursery while he laid across my stomach looking up at me. I wish I would have realized it would be the last time. I wish I remembered the last time I heard him call 'MAMA, AARRRREEEEE YOUUUUU?' from his room in the morning waiting for me to come in and get him up. I wish I would have realized in that moment that I needed to really listen to his little voice and cherish it because it would be the last time he would say it in just that way.

You know what started this sappy post? Finally packing away the summer clothes that don't fit him anymore. And of course, since I was getting all sentimental, (and being the girl I am) I decided to get even more emotional and pull out his box of baby pictures.....